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We all have things that bug us, but there are some things that annoy the living daylights out of horse riders.
Whether it’s other people’s unwanted opinions of our horse or how we ride, to spoilt kids in the warm-up arena before a show.
While the list can go on for days, we’ve picked the top 10 things:
1. The Questions & Annoying Non-Rider Comments
Non-horsey people sometimes ask the most annoying questions:
- Can I ride your horse? – No. Unless you’re a trainer, you ride the same way I do, you have YEARS of riding experience, you’re a schoolmaster… But even then, do you see an ad up? Is my horse for lease? NO!
- Can you teach me to ride? – NO. If I had the patience to be a riding instructor I’d be one.
- Can you ride me like you ride your horse? – HELL NO! Get away from me.
- The rider just sits there and does nothing – Where do you start with this one? You get on get my horse in an outline then. Grrrr!
- Do you have to see your horse every day? – Yes, every day, 365 days of the year, and I’d have it no other way.
- Why do you spend so much time with your horse, can’t he get along without you? – Yes, my horse is okay with me, it’s me who can’t get along without him.
2. The Gas Lever
Everyone knows a horse that farts when you’re picking their back feet… Lifting the back leg is like a lever that releases gas for these guys.
While it’s gross, it’s still mildly bearable. But if you’re not careful that same horse will take a dump. On your head.
3. The Kids in the Warm-Up Arena
Let’s face it, there are even some adults guilty of running amock in the warm-up arena. They have NO respect for personal space, run you over, upset your horse and make a general mess of things.
Then they have the audacity to complain about their horse not performing at their best when it comes to the actual class. Idiots.
4. The “OH LOOK A HORSE” Crowd
Yeah, we get it, horses are awesome. Hooting at my horse when we’re riding on the road. Running up to my horse, arms flailing.
Pretending to be a horse behind my horse. Feeding my horse treats. All these things are definitely NOT okay.
Yes, again, it’s a part of the riding experience, but mud in your face is never fun. Dried mud ALL OVER your horse – Not fun either.
Mud (and grass stains) on a grey that you just washed for a show – worst thing in the world!
6. The Unpredictable Nature of Horse Logic
The bag. The white dot on the fence. The deer. The rock. The bicycle. The bird. The bush. These are all terribly threatening at varying moments in time.
On a single day the plastic bag blowing in gale force winds is fine, but the rock that hasn’t moved in CENTURIES is the scariest thing on the face of the earth.
Here’s a funny video of an over-dramatic horse:
7. Getting the Right Action
You struggle for hours trying to get a nice bend or a canter on the correct leg. You untack, defeated. They bend to scratch the itchy spot where the saddle was.
You let them into the paddock – flying changes all over the place. The spiteful ass.
8. Horse Moms
They know nothing about horses. They kit their kid out with so much protective gear that the poor child can’t move, even though they’re still on a lead rein walking on the safest, oldest, most gentle, and bomb-proof horse in the world.
The horse shakes its head and they have a mini panic attack. Woman, chill, your kid’s going to go flying at some point and I promise you they’re tougher than you think. (
Note: safety IS important, but some people just take it WAY too far…
All those flies you swallowed, that got stuck up your nose, or to your teeth… Yeah, those things are super annoying.
So are the ticks. And the itchy mites… Not to mention the things that sting your horse and make them kick and spin and go nuts. Those are the WORST!
10. Bicycles on Bridleways
Whether people decide to take a cycle along a bridleway or abandon their bike right there, they can create havoc for the intended users of the path.
Although most bike riders are curious and slow down, you get the occasional one whizz past without a care for the horse.
11. The Stubborn Horse Nugget
Mucking out horses is daily and a never-ending job that horse owners can’t escape. Although it’s hard work, it can be quite relaxing and it’s where us horse owners have time to think and make crucial life decisions.
It can even be fun flicking up bits of horse poo and pilling up shavings banks along the stable wall.
However, the one thing that really grinds my gears are stubborn horse nuggets/apples at the end of the pitchfork!
You have to break your routine to put your foot on the pitchfork and slide them off. Just be like the rest and get in the wheelbarrow.